Finding Comfort through Discomfort

K-Pop Dance Collective

Having always enjoyed K-Pop and eager to meet a new community of people, I signed up to join Wesleyan’s K-Pop Dance Collective (KDC) in my first semester. It was my first time learning how to properly dance, and it would also be my first time dancing in front of an audience. Though I had experience playing the clarinet in front of an audience and giving speeches, something about moving my body in front of an audience was scary.

Nevertheless, I was excited to learn choreography to songs I enjoyed in my leisure while forming new friendships outside of my other social circles. Pushing my shyness and nervousness aside, I proactively went to dance rehearsals. I learned proper warm-ups for choreography, basic dance techniques, and strategies for synchronization. In addition to learning these dance skills, I also became closer with upperclassmen who were in my dance group, due to their leadership and kind guidance. Because I was able to gain so much from this experience—dance knowledge, friendships, and strategies to lead a group—I have, since my first semester at Wesleyan, participated in KDC every semester. 

Having gained confidence through KDC, I decided to sign up for Korean fan dance. Once again, I was slightly nervous about learning a new style of dance. Nevertheless, my excitement to learn a different genre of dance with a new group of people outweighed my fears. Moving my body in a more controlled, conservative manner in the traditional hanbok was not only exciting and new, but I felt a sense of pride stemming from the fact that I was representing, embodying, and sharing my heritage culture. 

Persevering through new endeavors has allowed me to be open-minded, flexible, and brave in participating in unfamiliar experiences. If I want to try something new, but I am scared about failing or falling short of my own expectations, I remind myself of my past experiences in KDC and Korean fan dance.

I was invited by an upperclassman friend to teach a student forum, I was wary but excited to share discussions about Asian American food and histories. During my sophomore fall, my friend and I worked together to prepare readings, discussions, writing exercises, and assignments for our student forum in the spring.

During our forum, we alternated leading class discussions and created a small community of students interested in studying the gastrodiplomacy of diasporic cuisines. This forum culminated in a student conference in which everyone presented their final projects.

Initially, it was intimidating to put myself out there and lead my peers when I felt inadequate and not fully knowledgeable. However, through this experience of leading a student forum, I realized it is not about knowing everything. Rather, it is about being open to new ideas and facilitating an ambience of comfortable and respectful discussion. Trying new things will always scare me but I know I will be surprised by the progress and growth after I come out on the other side.